


The Next Right Thing (Warning: Suicide)

by anavengerloverXD



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Death, Depression, More characters to come, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicide, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23578987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anavengerloverXD/pseuds/anavengerloverXD
Summary: Warning: suicide, possible depictions of self harm. If you are in a dark place, please come back when you are feeling better.Disclaimer: This fan fiction was inspired by a comic on Reddit. Please check out the comic and give them support! This fan fiction picks up where that comic left off, so it IS necessary to look at the comic to understand the beginning. Thank you!Comic link: https://www.reddit.com/r/stevenuniverse/comments/fyezf3/alternative_ending_to_steven_universe_future_tw/Pink Steven has been existing silently inside of Steven for a very long time. Now that Steven is gone, it is up to him to help his other half's family heal.
Comments: 57
Kudos: 279





	1. Beginning of Goodbye

(Psst! Here's the [link](https://www.reddit.com/r/stevenuniverse/comments/fyezf3/alternative_ending_to_steven_universe_future_tw/) to the comic again, in case you forgot to check it out. Okay, enjoy the story!)

(Steven is a fusion of his human half and his gem half. When the human half dies, his Gem half would be forcibly removed because the human half can no longer provide anything to fuse with. So this is my idea for a follow-up.)

Pink Steven sat beside his own body for days on end. There was no need for air. There was no need for food. There was no need to move. There was only silence. The body did not decompose. There was no atmosphere for it to decompose in.

"Please, Steven, it's been days..."

The voices of long forgotten friends reached his ears at last. He had been sitting still for so long that he wondered momentarily if he could still move at all. Slowly, he rose. The other Gems would want Steven's body. They would want to bury him, like the other humans do. He picked up his body. For a moment, he remembered a time not so long ago where they were separated, and he held him this way. There would not be another fusion of the two. Steven was gone now.

He carried the body out of Lion's mane and was immediately greeted by screams and sobbing. He stood there, staring blankly, waiting for them to finish. Time moved, they took his body from him, Lion rolled onto his side sadly, and Pink Steven stood still, unmoving, unblinking. Just... Staring. His arms remained in the position they'd been in, holding Steven. His other half. His human half. He'd been standing there for seven hours. Finally he moved, looking down at his hands. He squeezed them into fists. He let them drop limply at his sides. There was no point in being angry. It was Steven's choice, and Steven's choice alone.

He went upstairs to sit. Think. Be out of the way while the other Gems grieve. When the time came, he would rejoin them. For now, he laid on his bed and rested.

Time passed quickly downstairs. Funeral arrangements were made. They would take place at Little Homeworld. Everyone wanted their chance to say goodbye, after all. Pink Steven listened in complete silence. He felt no distress. He felt no anger. He was merely quiet and out of the way. He did not want to interrupt their grieving. Even though he knew he was still Steven, he wondered if he should change his appearance. He wondered if Connie was holding up. He wished Steven would have left a note, a video, something. He knew it would be hard to explain what Steven was thinking. Perhaps it would be easier to write it. He opened the lap top he found buried in Steven's room. It was a gift, but Steven never used it that often. The lap top was dead, but it lit up at his touch. He did not move. There was no click of the keyboard. His thoughts simply translated onto a document on the screen.

_Steven struggled very deeply with himself. Hearing the things his mother did weighed very heavily on him. He felt as though it was up to him to right all of the wrongs she had done. He felt as though her crimes were a burden on his shoulders - a burden he had to bear alone. He could not talk to Garnet about it - her advice would have fallen on deaf ears regardless. He could not talk to Amethyst - she would not have understood his overwhelming sense of responsibility. He could not talk to Pearl - his mother had hurt her enough. It would have only hurt the Gems even more to know how deeply he was hurting because of her. But this was not all that wounded him._

_The Earth has been quiet since Era 3 began. No one has needed his help. The stress of his entire life has finally settled in on his shoulders. It felt so much like the end of the world at every quiet moment. He could not eat. He barely slept. He was miserable, always, 24/7. The only moments these last few months where he was happy were in his final few. He simply decided at some point that everyone would be happier, that he would be happier, if he no longer existed. I imagine that he forgot I was still inside of him. He is gone now, and I am here. I will leave, if it makes everyone's grieving easier. You need only say the word._

_Pink Steven._

He printed it off in the printer downstairs and waited for it to catch someone's attention.

Eventually the document did catch the eyes of Pearl. She picked it up quietly, rubbing her eyes. Reading it over just made her break down crying once again. Steven... her poor baby... how could he have struggled with so much for so long and not let anyone notice? He'd always been there for everyone else... but now he was gone and... the Gem half of him was still here. What were they going to do with him? He wasn't Steven, not really. Once she felt strong enough to pick herself up off of the floor again, she took the letter to Garnet.

Garnet, too, was having a hard time dealing with the loss. She was wracked with guilt over not being able to see it coming. There were certain things that were just so unlikely that she never saw them and yet... how had she never known? The truth was that she had stopped looking. Everything in their world seemed fine, everyone seemed okay, so she'd stopped looking to the future for answers. She'd chosen to live in the present and understand that things would happen regardless of whether or not she saw them. Maybe if she'd just kept looking, she would have been able to stop him... But it was too late. She was too late.

Reading the letter just made everything boil over for her. "GrrrAGH!" she punched the wall next to her hard enough to blast a hole in it. She would fix it later, but for now, she was just... in so much pain... Steven had needed them! They'd missed it!

"Garnet..?"

Her body was trembling - she could not keep herself together anymore. She broke, leaving Ruby and Sapphire sobbing on the floor. Pearl bent down and drew the two of them into her arms. They all just... sat on the floor and sobbed, wailing over the loss of their metaphorical son. Their baby was gone... and they had no idea what to do with themselves anymore. Life was empty. They were broken.

(This is not the end of the story! There will be more, but there's such a huge demand for it that I'm going to post this chapter now.)


	2. And It's Wrong

(Hey guys! I'm back with a quick chapter 2! It's not as long as chapter 1, I think, but people really wanted more of this story, so here you go! I'll see you in chapter 3 as soon as I can!)

Greg had been on tour when Pearl called him. It had been a full twenty minutes of her sobbing before she’d finally screamed out “STEVEN’S DEAD!” He’d sat there in dead silence for a full two minutes before finally finding his voice. “You’re… you’re kidding, right?” he whispered, but Pearl was not the kind to play pranks, especially not ones like this. She just sobbed harder. Greg hung up and pressed his face into his hands.

“Greg…?” Sadie reached out to touch his shoulder, and he immediately cracked, body trembling. “Greg, what happened?” she sat down next to him. He turned sharply and crushed her to himself, trembling violently. “Is everything okay…? Is… Is Steven okay…?” she asked, patting his back quietly. “My baby boy… he’s d-dead..!” Greg wailed, pulling away and burying his face in his hands again. “S-Steven’s dead..!?” Sadie stood up. “SHEP! GET ON THE PHONES AND CANCEL EVERYTHING! WE’VE GOT….”

All the noise around him faded into static. His son… his only son… his world… how could he have just up and died..? What had happened…? He needed to get home, he needed to get back to Beach City and he needed to look at Pearl’s face and have her tell him that she was sorry and that it was an awful, cruel prank… but in his heart he knew it had to be true. Pearl might have disliked him at some point, but she would never… she  _ could never _ be so cruel. He dragged himself up onto his feet and stumbled over to his van, crumbling against it quietly. He’d never see his son again… his pride and joy…

The drive back to Beach City was empty and quiet and honestly Greg didn’t remember most of it. He was so lost in his own head, rolling back through his memories. Steven, innocent, sweet Steven, gone. It just didn’t make any sense. He’d thought they were past all of the Gem dangers, and Steven had never made any human enemies, so how could he have just… died? Nothing was making any sense right now.

Arriving back at home was arriving back to a quiet, solemn house. “Where is he? Where… where is my son?”

Pearl pulled the sheet off the sofa. There was no doubt - it was Steven. “Oh… my son…” Greg dropped to his knees and scooted over to him. He looked so peaceful, like he might just be sleeping, except that his skin was discolored from a lack of oxygen. “We… waited to contact anyone. We thought… we thought you would want to see him first.”

“What… happened?”

It was so silent you could hear a pen drop in the room.

“He… went into Lion’s mane several days ago. When… when he was brought back out, he was dead.”  
  
“What..? Something killed him inside Lion..?”

Everyone glanced around quietly. “No.”

“What do you mean, no? You just said-”

“He killed himself, Greg. There’s no… there’s no air inside Lion’s mane. He just went in and… stopped breathing. Pink… Pink Steven wrote us this note.” Pearl handed it over to him, and draped the sheet back over Steven again. She couldn’t look at him anymore. “Pink Steven…?” Greg murmured. “He’s… in Steven’s room.” Amethyst muttered to him.

He darted up the stairs to see a boy in Steven’s bed, identical to Steven, but in shades of pink. “W-what-” his mind was reeling. The pink Steven sat up slowly and looked at him hollowly. “You… You were in his Gem.” Greg said quietly after several long minutes. “Yes.” Pink Steven responded. “You… were inside him… couldn’t you have stopped him…? Couldn’t you have helped him? Why- why are you here!?”

“It was not my choice.”

“What do you mean, it wasn’t your choice!?”

“It was not my choice. He was ready to die.”

“Well I wasn’t ready to lose him! Y-you have healing powers! You can fix him! You have to fix him!” Greg grabbed his wrist and dragged him down the stairs, shoving him towards Steven’s corpse. Pink Steven stared at the body covered by the sheet, and then looked back at Greg blankly. “I cannot fix him.”

“Yes you can! What about Lars!? You fixed Lars!”

“I cannot fix him.” he repeated.

“Why not!?”

“Because he is gone. It is not what he would have wanted.”

“How can you know what he would have wanted!?”

“Because I am him.”

Though he’d spoken it softly, the area just around him impacted just as it had when he’d faced White Diamond. There was a crater under his feet, just about a foot in diameter. His hollow pink eyes shifted back to the body on the sofa. He turned away and walked away from them soundlessly. He had no plan for where he was going yet, just that he was getting onto the Warp Pad and he was leaving here. He warped away.

Greg, Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet stood there silently, watching over Steven’s body. They wouldn’t remember who, but eventually one of them called the coroner to come collect the body and prepare it for the funeral which would take place two days from then. For now… here they were in the future, and it was very, very, very wrong.


	3. Drift Away

(Hey! Do you want to receive regular updates regarding the story and when its next chapters are coming out? Maybe you want to give me suggestions for where the story should go? Or maybe you just want to connect with other fans of SU and this story! Please consider joining my new [Discord server](https://discord.gg/ex5psEz)! Thank you~)

Pink Steven arrived on Homeworld silently. He walked by Gems of all shape and color and facet, merely heading in the direction of the throne room. Steven might not have liked the Diamonds, and he might have only tolerated Spinel, but even they deserved to know that he was no longer around.

As it turned out, the throne room was empty, except for a few Gems on a tour. The Diamonds were in their own rooms, doing their own various activities. There was only one familiar face here - a pink Gem he’d nearly died to not so long ago.

“Steven? Woah, you’re rockin’ a new look, huh? Where ya been, buddy?” Spinel bounced over to him on spring-coil legs. She tackled him to hug him, which might have made Steven stumble back, but Pink Steven was an immovable force, so it was rather like jumping against a brick wall. “Gee, you been workin’ out or something? You’re as strong as a rock!” she joked. “So whatcha doin’ here?”

“I need to talk to the Diamonds.”

“Yeah, no kiddin’! You never call, you never write, you never visit… well come on! I bet they’re just dying to see you!”

He did not move, staring at her. “Hey… aren’t you comin’?”

“I need to speak with all of them at once.”

“Huh… okay, guess I’ll get their attention for you.”

She made a familiar horn with her hand and blew this cute trumpet noise into it.

They waited in a silence that quickly grew awkward for Spinel. Why was he acting so weird today? She didn’t get it. She understood having a moody day, but Steven was just being very… strange. She wasn’t sure she liked it.

Yellow and Blue strolled into the throne room, humming. “Yes, Spinel? Oh, Steven! You’re looking very… pink! Why the change? Are you finally feeling more like a Diamond now?” Yellow pressed, half joking, half eager. His eyes slid over her blankly. “Steven? Are you feeling alright?” Blue asked, kneeling down to be closer. His eyes flicked to her, then to the floor. “We should wait for White.”

There was an awkward pause. “Well… alright, if you insist, I suppose.”

Yellow sat on her throne, but Blue chose to sit on the floor with Pink Steven and Spinel. “Did you have something you wanted to tell us, Steven?” she asked him, smiling softly. “.... We should wait for White.”

His head snapped up to her the second she walked into the room.

“Alright, alright, I’m here! What is it, Spine-!” she screeched at the sight of him.

“S-Steven! What happened to you!? Why- why are you separated from your body!?”

“What? What is she talkin’ about, Steven?”

“Sit.” Pink Steven motioned to her throne. She scooted around him, staring at him wildly. “What… happened to you?”

“Steven is dead.” he said flatly.

White’s pupils dilated. This… this was what she feared. She covered her mouth, looking away.

“What sort of prank are you playing, Steven is dead? You’re Steven, you’re- oh… h-how?” Yellow’s voice had started off so demanding, but quickly broke towards the end. “He killed himself.” Pink Steven responded. “He… w-what…?” Blue’s eyes watered. She could feel her powers beginning to reverse themselves again, her aura was struggling to stay contained within her own proximity. “I-it can’t be true!” she shook her head rapidly, wrapping her arms around herself tightly.

“S-steven…?” Spinel said softly.

He looked at her flatly, eyes wide and unfeeling. “O-oh no… it’s true, isn’t it…?” her face twisted painfully and she looked away from him. How… how could Steven be… gone…?

“It’s true.” he said quietly, eyes shifting to the floor. Blue Diamond broke down sobbing, spreading her overwhelming blue aura over all the Gems in the room. It didn’t matter. They didn’t need her help to cry. Everyone except Pink Steven was wailing.

He did not cry. He did not move. He did not blink. He merely listened and waited for them to calm down so he could relay the information on the funeral.

He had no sense of time, so he had no idea how long he stood there, listening to them all sob. Eventually, whether it be several minutes or several hours later, they did calm down. Blue’s aura receded and she simply sniffled. “If… if Steven is... dead, what does that make you..?” Spinel asked him softly. “I am Steven. But… pink. Pink Steven.” he turned to all of them once more. “The funeral will be on Earth. It is being held at Little Homeworld. It is in two days. Black is the traditional color for immediate family.” he turned away from them and began walking away. “W-wait! Steven! You- He had healing powers! I watched him- you- kiss the ground, and all the grass sprouted back up! You can fix him!”

“No.”

“No…? What do you mean, no?”

“I mean, no. I cannot fix him. I will not fix him.”

“Why!?”

“Because he is gone.” his voice was flat and cold. “But you can bring him back!”

“I cannot.”

“Yes you can!” Spinel’s arms stretched out to try and drag him back, but instead it dragged her forward to him. “Please, please try an’ bring him back!” she pleaded.

“No. He is dead. Let him rest.”

“But-”

“I said LET HIM REST.”

The ground beneath him shattered once again, dropping Spinel into a huge crater and making the ground rumble beneath the Diamonds.

“.... Steven….”

“Pink Steven.” he said quietly.   
“Can we… call you Pink…?”

He considered the question quietly. Did he really have the right to call himself Steven anymore? He was not the Steven they knew. The Steven they knew had feelings. He had very few, if any at all. Their Steven was half human. He was 100% Gem. Their Steven was emotional and kind and capable of being hurt. He was numb and apathetic and capable of hurting others.

“Okay.” he finally agreed.

“Okay?”

“Okay. You may call me Pink from now on.”

“Pink… please don’t go. We… we’re your family, Pink. Stay with us for a little while. We… we can all catch up…?”

“No. I am going back to Earth. I will see you in two days. Goodbye.”

He boarded the Warp Pad and warped away.

Spinel, Blue, Yellow, and White all sat in silence for a very long time.

“I can’t… believe it. First Pink Diamond and now… Steven…”

“I can’t believe he won’t revive Steven. How selfish can he be!?” Yellow huffed.

“Yellow, you can’t say that. If Steven… killed himself… then he must have been hurting terribly. It would be cruel to bring him back if he was hurting so terribly.”

“Cruel to bring him back!? If he was hurting so terribly, he should have asked for help! We could have helped him! If he brought him back, we could still help him, and then we wouldn’t have to hurt because he’s gone!”

“Don’t you dare blame him! He must have wanted to reach out so desperately! How can you blame him for doing the only thing he could think of to end his own suffering?”

“How can you not!? He killed himself! Of course it’s his fault!”

“Yellow, Blue, that’s  _ enough _ !” White’s voice boomed over both of them. They jumped, looking at her.

“If Steven was hurting so badly… and he felt like he couldn’t come to any of us… then it is not just his fault. We are… we are to blame as well. I… Oh, it’s just like Pink all over again…” White covered her face to hide the way it was twisting, to hide the way she wanted to just shatter and cry all over again. They’d never even gotten to say goodbye… She couldn’t deny that she was angry too, but she couldn’t act as though she were faultless. That was what Steven had fought so hard to prove to them - to prove to her. That they were just as capable of being imperfect as everyone else. And their imperfections, as with everyone else’s, came at a price that everyone had to pay in some way or another. For them, the price was especially high.

“We should… prepare ourselves for the Earth funeral. Yes.” she sniffled. “Yes, I’m going to prepare myself.” and she vanished down the hall to go back to her room.

Yellow and Blue looked at each other awkwardly for a moment, and then turned and walked away from each other. They couldn’t stand to look at each other right now. This left Spinel alone in the room, and she lifted herself up into the old Pink Diamond throne. He really was gone… the first person to believe she was capable of more was gone. She couldn’t believe it. She drew her knees to her chest and rested her face against them quietly.

Silence settled across the palace, bringing with it a heavy layer of despair.

  
(Thank you so much for your support in this story, everyone. I really appreciate it!)


	4. Forged in The Fire of Regret

(Hey! It's me again. I really recommend you joining the discord server for this pic! It's growing every day! Here's the link! <https://discord.gg/ex5psEz>

I hope you decide to join!)

Pink had warped away without a single thought, appearing in Little Homeworld without a sound. Ah… yes, perhaps he should also inform Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot. He was certain he would just be met with more tears. Honestly, at this point it was beginning to grate his nerves. One could only hear screams and cries of weaker beings with feelings for so long until it began to make one grind their teeth. He walked through the town quietly. It was surprisingly empty. Had they already been informed of what had happened? Considering that they’d already made funeral plans, it seemed likely.

He entered Bismuth’s smith shop. He was unsurprised to find her hammering away, sniffling. (Then again, was he ever going to be surprised by anything anymore? Everything seemed so… likely.) Her head darted up at his pink glow entering her workshop. “S-steven-!? N-no… You’re not… are you….?” she blinked, wiping her tears away. “Pink.” he replied shortly. “Oh.. alright… Pink…” she cleared her throat. “What are you… doing here?”

“I came to inform you of Steven’s death. It seems that you already know.”

“.... yes. Pearl called. I… I’m sorry.” she looked away awkwardly.

“Do not apologize. Have Lapis and Peridot been informed?”

“Yes…”

“Then I will g-”

“Wait, please. I… I think they’d want to talk to you. Lapis! Peridot! You’re going to want to get down here!” she called for them. They drifted into the workshop and immediately screeched at the sight of Steven.

“Oh my stars, Steven, are you some sort of- of pink ghost now!?” Peridot ran over and grabbed his wrist to turn it over and check it for a pulse.

“No.” he pulled his hand away.

“Ah… Peridot, he prefers to be called Pink now.”

“Pink?” Lapis turned to him again. “You’re going by  _ her _ name?”

“Yes.” he looked at her blankly.

“Why…?”

He looked towards the wall. “I assume you have been made aware of the funeral arrangements for Steven.”

“Well yeah, but Pearl said-”

“Do not ask me to revive him.”

“.... okay.”

“Okay? You’re just saying okay?” Lapis rounded on Peridot now. “He has the power to  _ bring Steven back from the dead _ and you’re saying  _ OKAY _ !? I can’t believe you Peridot! How can you just give up on him!”

“.....”

“Well? Say something!”

“I knew, Lapis.”

“You… you knew… what?”

“I knew that he was… hurting. I just didn’t know how badly, and, well, he seemed fine the last time I saw him, so…”

“So  _ what _ ? You knew he was hurting  _ and you didn’t say anything!? _ ”

“Lapis, you can’t blame Peridot!” Bismuth interrupted. “None of us could have seen this coming! Garnet has future vision and even she didn’t see it coming!”

“Well she should have looked harder!”

“Lapis!”

Lapis just yelled in frustration, sprouting wings and getting the hell away from everyone.

“W-where are you going? Lapis? Lapis!” Peridot yelled after her. “Away from you! Leave me alone!”

“... F-fine! Whatever, you clod!”

Peridot stomped outside, which, if it were Steven, might have been rather cute or humorous to watch, but he was not Steven, and it was not cute.

He glanced at Bismuth. “I’m… making some new armor. For the funeral.” she explained quietly. “Carry on. I will leave now.”

“Yeah… okay.”

Pink turned and walked out, leaving silence in his wake. He warped away once again.

Lapis couldn’t believe them! Any of them! Steven was gone and they were acting so- so- so normal! But nothing felt normal for her. She felt so… wild and out of control. She just wanted to- break something! “UGH!” for a moment, she had been sorely tempted to cause a massive tidal wave. Something that size would have not only leveled Little Homeworld, but possibly half of Beach City as well. She needed… she needed to get herself under control. She was going to hurt someone if she wasn’t careful. She sank down onto the roof quietly, sighing. What was wrong with her..? Steven was gone, but he never would have wanted her to act this way. He would have wanted her to be strong… She took a deep breath and looked up at the sky quietly. It was just… impossible to accept him being gone. Steven, who had put so much on the line for hundreds, if not thousands of other Gems, and yet… he’d really felt like no one was there for him when it counted the most. He really thought he had no one to turn to. He really.... Was gone....

Peridot stomped outside to go sit in the greenhouse. She just needed to be surrounded by things that would make her feel better. Somewhat. She… felt kind of bad for calling Lapis a clod, but it was just the first thing that popped into her mouth. She’d been so angry… but how could Lapis blame her for him being gone!? Even if she had said something, there was still an incredibly high statistical probability that someone as far gone as he must have been would have killed themselves anyway! She felt so bad… she wondered if she really could have made a difference. If she could have… did that mean Steven’s death was on her hands…?

Bismuth sighed to herself, running her hands over the cooling tungsten of her funeral armor. Of all the Gems, it seemed she was handling it the best. She was just turning all of her guilt and anger into creative energy, and was expending it into something beautiful. She would probably never wear this armor again, as she had no other funerals to expect. Secretly, she, like the others, were hoping that Pink would change his mind and attempt to revive Steven, but… even if he did, what purpose would it serve? They would still have to deal with the trauma of losing Steven at some point. He was half human. Eventually, his human half would have died on its own, and they still would be left with this empty, hollow Pink. Maybe… maybe it was for the best that it was now, after all? They all had all of these excellent memories of Steven to hold onto… memories of him being happy and youthful and alive. Wasn’t that the best way to remember someone? They would never have to watch him grow old. They would never have to watch his heart shatter when Connie eventually died. They would be spared the pain of watching him hurt. All they had to do was… get through it now. They just needed to… hold onto hope, and… hopefully not be consumed by their grief, by their guilt, and their anger.

  
  



	5. In The Garden

(Surprise! Chapter 5 is up a day earlier than anticipated! If you want to be updated (or surprised!) about new chapters and content, please consider joining the Writer's Club Discord Server! We now host more than 30 members, and counting new every day! There's a link in chapters 3 and 4 if you're interested! Please come check it out!!)

Pink had warped to the old washing machine hand of the temple quietly. Along the shoreline below, he saw a familiar head of dark hair. His head snapped away on instinct. Something distant, residual of Steven, lingered in him, although he could not place it in the moment. It was merely the far away jolt of a heart he did not possess. He stared away from her for a long moment, and then jumped off the laundry hand, drifting down gracefully onto the shoreline, and landing next to her. He stared at the water, moving back and forth to him and away from him, waiting for her to say something. He knew very well how Steven felt about her. He was not sure how to begin communicating with her.

“Garnet… Garnet called my mom… she told me what happened.” Connie finally said. He nodded subtly. “....” she brushed a strand of hair back quietly. “Are you okay?” she asked, looking up at him.

He blinked, not processing the question at all for a moment. Was he… okay? His inability to process the question was evident on his face.

“Look, I know most of your… feelings… were in Steven… I know you’re pretty blank without him but… he was still half of you… shouldn’t that… aren’t you bothered?”

“No.”

“No…?”

“No. I have always been irrelevant. I am unbothered by him being dead.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“By what?”

“That you’ve always been.. Irrelevant.”

“... my existence was always defined by how he chose to express me. I was not a person. I was- and am- merely a piece of him. The way he expressed the power he drew from all of you.”

She supposed she couldn’t really argue with him. She had only met him once, and it had only been a few moments, while Steven was on the brink of death. She didn’t know him, at all really. Right now, she was questioning if she really even knew Steven. Of all of the ways he could have turned out… this had never once crossed her mind. She turned back to the ocean, just for a moment, and then offered him Steven’s cellphone. “When Garnet called me, I came by, and… well, she thought you might want this.”

Pink considered it quietly and then took it from her. The phone took on a pink hue which matched his hair, and he pocketed it. He stared at her, or rather, through her. She stared back at him, trying to meet his eyes. He would not look her directly in the eyes.

“Y’know… You’re right, when you say that I don’t know you. But… there’s no reason we can’t… get to know each other?”

“......” his eyes shifted away from her. For a moment, he looked like he was trying to say something, but whatever it was never came to fruition. “Goodbye, Connie.”

“Goodbye, Steven.”

“....” he chose not to correct her, and he jumped back up to the Warp Pad, leaving her alone on the shore once again.

Connie stared out at the ocean. Her friend was gone now. Her… well, it was really no secret how the two had felt about each other. She felt a heavy pang in her chest as she realized she had lost her best friend, someone she loved, and her other half, all in one go. Steven was gone. Stevonnie was gone. She would never… feel that connection again, would she? She didn’t know at this point. Her eyes drifted back out over the ocean, getting lost in her own sea of emotion.

Pink warped away silently, uncertain of where he was going. He ended up in a place he had only been once before - well, no, that wasn’t true. His Gem had been here before, many, many times, and long ago as well. He remembered the last time he… they’d been here. In Pink’s Garden. He supposed it was Pink’s Garden once again. Spinel had waited here for over six thousand years. Over all that time, this place had broken down. It was funny, how he could sort of… remember it? In its former glory? He reached out to touch a broken stone pillar, floating in pieces. It crumbled away at his touch. He looked at his hands. This whole place… this whole place needed to be wiped away, and all of its memories scattered like stardust. He jumped up into the air, staring down at it all. All it would take would be one blast, to destroy the whole thing. And yet… for some reason, he found himself unable to destroy it. He drifted down to the ground again, sitting down on the edge of the long dry fountain. He stared at the ground blankly, considering his options quietly. He had approximately… 40 hours until the funeral would begin. Would he even want to be there? Would they want him there? It was probable that they wouldn’t. He would merely be a painful reminder of what they had lost, would he not? He decided it was probably better that they didn’t see him there that day.

He looked around the Garden again quietly. Standing, he turned around to examine the fountain without expression. He considered it, and then reached out to touch the place where water should be coming out. Instead of water, his very own Diamond essence sprung forth. He watched it flow for a moment before turning to the floating pillars all around and shattering them all, one at a time. He yanked down all of the plants that had been dead for so long, tossing them into a pile with the old stone. He cleared away every mark of what this place had once been, crushed every sign of Spinel and Pink. He destroyed every logo of the Diamond Authority. He smoothed the symbols off the structure the warp pad was built on top of. He stripped away Pink Diamond. He stripped away the Diamonds. He stripped away Spinel, and he stripped the stone and the dead plants and everything away… except for the fountain. The fountain would stay, because he did not care to rebuild the plumbing. He completely erased Pink Diamond’s Garden to replace it with Pink’s Sanctuary.

He boarded the Warp Pad and went back to Earth, to Steven’s green house. Here, there were fresh plants, new dirt, everything he would need for his new home away from Gems and humans alike. He bubbled everything and sent it away to the Sanctuary in silence, a few things at a time. Everything would be gone by the time the Gems actually thought to come out and see any of it.

He returned to the Sanctuary and began planting in silence. Rows of trees, and bushes, and flowers. Everything old had been cleared away for something new, and everything burst with life from his essence flowing through the plumbing in the rock it was all built on. He considered all of the scrap material he had, the old broken rocks, the old dried, dead plants, and then he bubbled it all and let it go away into space. He would keep no reminders of the entities associated with his Gem. He felt… the slightest sense of peace, being here, surrounded by his efforts and labors. For now, he had found an escape from all he had been a part of. He had no use for eating, but he picked a juicy peach from a nearby tree and wandered through the rows of plants he had hand placed in silence, holding it to his mouth as though he might eat it on several occasions, and then not ever taking a bite out of it so as not to destroy its perfection. He, the Gems, the humans… everyone took so much of everything their entire lives. Was there no way to exist without taking from someone or something else? Was all life selfish? He dropped the peach and let it roll away from him, walking away from it in turn. He had no idea what to do with himself. Of what use could he be to anyone? How could he ever begin to make up for all his human counterpart had consumed during even just his short life? He decided the best way for it was to just live in solitude and never take from the Earth again. He would stay here, alone, and find a way to give the things he was growing to those who needed it on Earth. Surely someone could find a use for all this fruit. Yes… that was the answer. That was his answer.

Pearl and Amethyst were in an uproar with each other back in the Temple.

“We have Rose’s fountain! We- we could still bring him back!”

“No we can’t!”

“Why not!? We could bring my baby back!”

“Steven didn’t want to be here anymore, P! Just let it go already!”

“How can you just give up so easily!?”

“How can  _ you _ act like you’re the only one who misses him!? I cared about him just as much as you did, and apparently even more, since I’m the only one who can friggin respect his wishes!”

“How DARE you-!?”

“Pearl.”

“H-huh?”

“Amethyst is right. You do not want to use Rose’s fountain. Not if you cherish it, anyway.”

“... Oh, fine.” she looked away, wrapping her arms around herself. Garnet stared at her quietly, and silence settled on the Temple once again.

  
(Okay, that's all for chapter 5! I'm not exactly sure when chapter 6 will be up, because I'm planning on chapter 6 being quite a bit longer. At earliest, it'll be up by Thursday of this week, but hey, if you want updates on the progress, you really should join the Discord server! I'll see you in the next chapter, bye!)  
  



	6. The Funeral

(Grab your tissues, guys. If you want to talk about it afterwards, you could always join the Discord server dedicated to this story. We have upwards of 40 people on there now, and they're all looking forward to meeting you! Take care of yourself, guys. I love you all.)

_ ‘I know you have Steven’s phone. I stole P’s phone to text you. I think she’s gonna try to use Rose’s fountain on Steven. Figured you deserved a chance to try and change her mind.’ _

Pink stared at the phone screen for a long moment before pocketing it and walking briskly to his warp pad and warping away to the fountain. He would sit and wait for her to appear so he could dissuade her.

It took a few hours, but she did appear in the darkness of the newly fallen night, carrying a body-sized bundle. Pink watched her approach the fountain and then made himself known to her. “You were not about to revive him, were you?”

She screeched, almost dropping Steven’s body. “Y-you! H-how did you know I would-? Never mind, I’m reviving him!” she went to put him in the fountain. “No, you are not.” he stomped the ground, sending a wave of tectonic pressure at the fountain. It exploded from beneath itself, and Pink created a bubble around Pearl and Steven’s body to protect it from the last of Rose’s tears which were splattering through the air.

“W-what have-  _ WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? _ ” she screamed, dropping Steven onto the floor of the bubble and crumpling to her knees. Rose’s fountain… the beautiful fountain! She stared at it, and suddenly Garnet’s words came back to her mind. ‘Not if you cherish it’, she’d warned. Oh… why hadn’t she listened to her…!? The bubble around her faded and Pink took Steven’s body, walking off and warping with it back to the Temple. Garnet was outside, expecting him. She took Steven’s body from him and looked down at it quietly, feeling a pang of hurt in her chest. She looked up, but Pink was disappearing into the bushes, going off on a walk to wherever he was going. She had a feeling she knew, but she was more focused on getting Steven’s body back to Little Homeworld.

Pink walked through the woods with a sort of silent determination. He knew exactly where he was going, and exactly what he was going to do. It would be his last personal act on Earth. His feet carried him to Jasper’s camp.

Jasper glared at him as he walked into her space in silence. “Oh, the puny Earthling. What are YOU doing here again? I thought I made it clear last time-”

“Steven is dead.” he said flatly, staring through her soullessly.

“.... Psh. I always knew he was weak.” she grumbled, turning away. Pink went up to her and turned her around, shoving Steven’s phone into her hand. “Steven wanted you to stop isolating yourself and stop being lonely. Take this and go ask Pearl to teach you how to use it. Make friends with someone in the contact list.” he turned away again. “Wait, where are you going? You’re just going to come in here and order me around and you’re not even going to ask to fight me again?”

“If we fought, I would shatter you instantaneously.” he looked over his shoulder at her, eyes dead serious. “Steven cared for you very deeply. I find you insufferable and desperate for attention and meaning that you are too pathetic to find yourself. Just do what he wanted.”

Jasper opened her mouth and closed it, then opened it again, and then shut it once again, bowing stiffly and doing the Diamond salute. “As you wish, my Diamond.”

He nodded silently and turned to walk away again.

“Don’t… you have any other orders for me…?”

“No.”

And with that, Pink vanished.

The funeral was the next morning. It was held at eleven in the morning. Steven looked very much alive inside his casket. The Gems that had helped take care of his body so the Crystal Gems wouldn’t have to had done a very good job of making him look… like himself. Too good of a job. He was so lifelike that it was uncomfortable.

Greg was the one to start off the funeral, eyes downcast.

“S-so… as everyone knows… um… we’re here because… of Steven. My son. He… he was my son, but… he was more than that. Steven… was always there for everyone. I really… I really regret not… being there for him, the way he was there for everyone else. I regret not… being here when he needed me, I…” he cleared his throat to push off the way he was choking up. “I… I just wanted you all to know that we’re here for… for more than Steven’s death. We’re all here because Steven… made sure we could still be here. The world might not even be here anymore if it wasn’t for him and I…” he swallowed thickly. “I want you all to take time to remember him… and share what you remember and… forgive yourself for not… being there.” he breathed.

“Steven was… well, he was everything he needed to be. He was kind, and brave… and way more understanding than any of us ever deserved. He was always… He might have been shorter than me, but I very much looked up to him. He was the kind of person I would have prided myself to be.” Pearl chuckled softly, wiping her cheeks. “He was so… outgoing. I still can’t believe that he… he’s gone…” she wrapped her arms around herself. “I miss my baby…” she whispered, closing her eyes. She couldn’t hold herself together up here any longer. She walked off the stage quietly and took her seat before she broke down in front of everyone.

“You… you could really say Steven was like… a little brother to me, I guess? Yeah. We did tons of stuff together… he really got me. He got me better than anyone, I think. I mean… he thought I was funny. He thought I was cool… and we definitely bonded over food, let me tell you. I… I used to make fun of him, for caring so much about me. I kinda wonder if maybe he would have… been able to come to me if I hadn’t teased him so much? I guess there’s no point in… regretting, though. Thanks for all the memories, man. Thanks for bringing them back when I lost them… thanks for being a good kid. I’ll never forget you.” Amethyst paused to ruffle Steven’s hair one last time, then walked away from his casket and the stage.

“.... I saw many futures for Steven when he was young. I saw him grow old, I saw him get married, I saw him fuse, and I saw him die. But I never saw this. I never… the chances of this outcome were so low that I never saw it. Steven was always defying his odds. The odds of him existing at all were so low, and I didn’t even see him coming in the first place. I’ve known love and loss throughout Steven’s life, as short as it was, and I saw infinite futures for him. He defied the odds at every step, succeeded in everything he put his mind to, and showed me that sometimes, I am just wrong. Let Steven’s life and death show you that no future is set in stone, no matter what you do. Let it show you that even if something seems impossible, it is possible. Let it show… I… no, I can’t- can’t do it-” she split right on stage, breaking down into Ruby and Sapphire, who were both trembling as Greg walked them off the stage and back to Garnet’s seat, which was actually two seats, as she’d predicted that this might happen.

“I guess… I guess it’s no secret how Steven and I felt about each other, right? Right… um… ha. A few days before he… y’know. He um. He proposed to me. He wanted to… he wanted to perma-fuse into Stevonnie. I wonder… I wonder if he’d still be around if I’d said yes. I mean. He’d still be with me, so there’s that, right? But I said no. I… I said no and now he’s gone and..! S-steven-” she choked, trembling on the spot, “Steven I’m so s-sorry! I should have kn-known something was w-wrong! I-I’m so so sorry!” her mother had joined her on the stage, seeing her begin to break down, and Connie threw herself into her arms, sobbing. She’d thought she’d gotten all of it out, but she had been wrong, apparently. She felt so stupid! How could she not have seen something was wrong!? “Come on. It’s not your fault, alright? From what you’ve told me, Steven was dealing with some incredibly serious issues. No one person alone could have prevented this. It’s not your fault, Connie.” she walked her off the stage, digging out a tissue to dry her daughter’s face.

“Well, shoot. I… I didn’t know Steven nearly as long as the rest of the Crystal Gems. In fact, the first time I met him and really talked to him… I tried to kill him.” Bismuth rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m not very good with words, so uh… I’m sorry if I ramble on for a bit. I don’t mean to. So… so like I said, uh, I tried to kill him. I really thought he was Rose Quartz… and so he bubbled me. The boy refused to shatter me. Boy, am I glad he did.” she laughed awkwardly. “And so imagine my surprise when he unbubbles me later on. He unbubbles me, and he tells me that those two-” she pointed to Ruby and Sapphire, “are getting  _ married _ , and he wants me to be there with them. I tried to kill him the last time I’d seen him, and he was willing enough to forgive me to bring me back. I… can never repay that. Thanks… thanks for believing in me, Steven. I’ll always believe in you.” she saluted his casket quietly, and headed off the stage.

“Like Bismuth, I… also tried to kill Steven the first time I met him. It’s a part of my life I don’t care to remember. I… Steven took me in, when his Crystal Clods poofed me and tossed my limb enhancers. He showed me… about the beauty of the planet Earth. And… it made me realize that… I was the one who’d been a clod the whole time. He made me be something more, though. And because of him, I learned about friendship, and kindness, and how to be a better Gem, a better… a better person. He was always so nice and joyful… I’ll never be able to understand why he left. Goodbye, Steven.” she sighed and walked off the stage.

“Blue, White, and I… knew Steven less than all of you. When we lost Pink… we lost pieces of ourselves. We went mad and were bent on destroying all of you. When Steven came into our lives, and we saw him for what he really was, we thought we could make him into Pink again. We were wrong. And we almost lost him for the same reasons we lost Pink. We… I… I understand, why Steven wouldn’t have wanted to come to us.”

“But that doesn’t mean we miss him any less. Steven wasn’t Pink. He was Steven, and even though we didn’t know him for very long, he meant everything to us too. He showed us how wrong we were to act the way we did. He showed us that everyone, even us, who’ve been set in our ways for a millenia, can change their minds. He showed us… Yellow, White, and I… we’re all so sorry for all of you. You all must be hurting so terribly… if anyone would like to feel a bit better after the funeral processions, you’re welcome to come back to Homeworld and spend some time in my chambers. You certainly all deserve it.”

“Like many of you, when I first met Steven, I tried to kill him. I nearly succeeded. I was so convinced of my own perfection, of the perfection of my system, that I thought I could just… make everything better. I thought I could make all of you better, even, by just taking you over. I was very wrong, of course. Steven showed me that. He showed me that I have imperfections, and that’s alright. That no one is truly… flawless. Steven is gone… and it is a truly sad day, and we are all to blame for not being there for him, as we were not there for Pink Diamond. I’m… sorry for all of you.”

Spinel cleared her throat, tapping the microphone lightly. “Uh… this thing on? Heh. Um… I knew Steven for a shorter time than all of you. I tried to kill him too, cause I wanted to punish Pink… y’know, for leavin’ me in that dumb garden for six thousand years. But… Steven wasn’t anything like Pink. The Pink I knew kept lots of secrets, and lied, and hurt others without thinking about it. She couldn’t see past what she wanted. But Steven… Steven only kept secrets to keep others from gettin’ hurt. He only lied when he was tryin’ to protect others from a painful truth. He was a good friend. I… I didn’t deserve him.” she sighed. “He might not have liked me too much, but he forgave me. Not because it was against his morals or anything to hate me… but because he really did think I was worth forgiving. And… I know if I was worth forgivin’, then you all are too. I think Steven left us to stop his own hurting, so he wouldn’t end up hurting us himself. So please don’t blame yourselves… any of you. Even if it feels like it’s your fault… Sometimes, people just go away, and that’s all there is to it. Even people as great as Steven.” she looked over her shoulder at him, rubbing her elbow quietly. “See ya, sunshine.” She walked off the stage quietly, the only noise being the squeak of her shoes.

Silence pressed in on the crowd, as each person lost themselves in their minds to their grief and their tears, and tissues were passed around, and hugs were shared, and the day slipped away from them all.

  
(That's all for now, guys. I'm not sure when Chapter 7 will be out. Sorry about that. See ya, sunshines :,) )


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